Aqui, Gato, Gato

From my sister-in-law Kansas we learn interesting facts about her nursing school curriculum, such as the school’s use of cat cadavers for study. You might be morally opposed to this practice, but it seems like a necessary evil. Next time your nurse sticks a tube up your you-know-what, you might be glad that she or he has some knowledge of your innards based on autopsy practice, and perhaps her skill will prevent your autopsy from happening sooner than later.

The sad fact is that Humane Society estimates that 3-4 million dogs and cats are euthanized annually in this country, but the estimate varies by a cool million because nobody’s really keeping track. The numbers (or lack of them) illustrate our unfortunate value system. Those questionable values are further illustrated by our enlisting our unwanted and cast-aside feline friends in the cause to prolong human lives.

I was surprised, however, to learn from Kansas that the school’s cat cadavers are all imported from Mexico.

This made no sense. There are obviously more than enough cat cadavers in the U.S. to supply all of our medical programs, but apparently felines in the U.S. have rights—after they’ve been sadly exterminated by the millions—that their south-of-the-border feline cousins don’t share. The irony and horror of all this deserves A Modest Proposal.

From Kansas we also learn that the cat cadavers from Mexico are huge. This surprised me, too. If los gatos muertos were homeless and under-nourished, as I envisioned, how did they get so big? Perhaps they’re not homeless at all. Perhaps, since kitty cadavers are easier to export than cannabis, well-fed felines are routinely catnapped?

Perhaps it’s because they’re bigger that we import them from Mexico? Easier for young students to, you know.

All I know is that’s one FedEx shipment I would hate to see misrouted.