Stains

Store-Bought Stains = Good

The most interesting thing about this photo is not the buffalo, but the shirt that the Little Monster is wearing. He LOVES this shirt. Yes, the one with the permanent, fake stains all over the back. The custom, store-bought, mud splatters.

Homemade Stains = Bad

Now, compare to this pair of shorts, which the Little Monster refuses to wear because, as he says, “They are stained.” Yes, he stained them. At home. Himself. On purpose. With his own paint. While painting.

No one ever said any of it was going to make sense.

Oh give me a home
Where the buffalo roam
And the boys and the terriers play.
Where seldom is heard
a discouraging word
about unseemly wardrobe stains about which whippersnappers unnecessarily complain.

Note that the terrier herself has got some serious splotches going on. Does she look like she minds? Well, okay, she looks like she minds, but I think that’s about the Vulcan half-lutz paw hold and not her spots.

Also note that the Little Monster is indeed wearing the shorts he supposedly refuses to wear because, as his parents said, “You can buy all of the pristine clothes you want when you have a job.”

To which he said, “Who’s Pristine?”

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